It's no secret, anymore, that I'm prone to depression. Not a lot of people know it, especially people that don't know me well. Actually even people that know me well barely know it. That's somewhat the nature of the beast though, I think. I've come to observe and believe that a lot of the seemingly "happiest" people in life, are the most unhappy. I'm not blanketing everyone who is "happy" with that statement, but I have often found it to be true from the people I've known in my life, from myself, and from stories I've read and heard about.
The catalyst for my post today was my previous post yesterday. I had been searching my old bookmarks to look for the excellent sites I had found years ago which led me to start my journey of oil cleansing. I clicked on one of the sites called Prissy Green. Today I went back to read more posts on the very informative and creative site, when I found out that the blog author had committed suicide over a year and a half ago. The blogger's name was Karissa Gindling.
Even though I did not know her, I couldn't help but tear up. Judging from the comments left, I doubt very many people in her life really knew she was depressed. She seemed like a happy, content, ambitious, capable, smiley girl with nothing that would make her want to commit such an offense against herself. As someone who is afflicted with bouts of depression, I feel so much for her and what she might have been going through. The reason I bring it up now is because I want to bring it to the light of people who have not been there, and who can't understand, even if they try. I had heard other heartbreaking stories in the past, one of Marie Osmond's son, another of Anderson Cooper's brother who jumped out of the window of his condo building in front of his mother who begged him not to. It doesn't matter if you're rich or poor, when you are in the depths of depression there is no rationality, no logic, no light at the end of the tunnel, no truth but the voice inside your own head.
I now realize that diseases like depression, or drug addiction, or alcoholism, or gambling addiction, really cannot be understood by anyone who isn't afflicted by it. Although I have feelings of depression I have found myself, in the past, unmoved by those with drug addiction; feeling that it should be easy for them to stop, mostly because I have no desire for drugs myself and don't have any capability of really understanding why they do.
My point is this, even if you don't understand, even if you can't put yourself in that person's shoes, the most important thing is being there, without judgment. Depression is a real disease, a mental disease. Like a cancer, even if it seems to have gone away, it can always creep back. Recognizing depression can also be very difficult, because it can express itself in different ways. I think it's important to take notice of the people you care about. If you hear someone make out of place comments about feeling alone or suicidal comments, don't take it lightly. Probe further if possible. Just try to be there. I believe it's better to be over concerned than under. Take notice. Maybe you can be someone's light at the end of the tunnel.
If you are depressed, tell someone you are. Or see a doctor as soon as possible.